“I am living but a day’s journey away from my new nature!”

When I think about something I’ve done one thousand times, I am confident writing journal entries makes the list. I was so inspired by a recent TBOY podcast episode that challenged listeners to celebrate something they’ve done 1,000 times. The hosts awarded the crown to an artist who went platinum only after the 1,000th song she wrote. 

Breathing life into the old adage, “if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off” and try 999 more times or something Aaliyah was saying… 

I believe I have gotten down on my knees and prayed a thousand times. I’ve cooked a thousand meals. I’ve given people giggles a thousand times. I’ve given people hope 1,000x. I’ve smiled 1,000 times. I’ve laughed 1,000x. I’ve won 1,000x– at all different types of games, might I add. Over my life, I’ve had a thousand crushes, connections, conversations. I’ve transformed 1,000 times. I’ve cried, I’ve walked the walk–talked the talk. I’ve danced the dance and pranced the prance. 

Did I mention, I’ve prayed 1,000x? For brighter days, for better ways, bountier pays, longer stays…the list goes on. I’ve stood in the sun, beaming proud 1,000x. I’ve said I’m beautiful out loud. I’ve apologized, I’ve compromised, I’ve sacrificed. I’ve stayed silent 1,000 times more than I’ve spoken up.

But wait, there’s balance. I’ve used my voice and followed my gut. I’ve asked the tough questions to reveal hard truths 1,000x… for sure. Where is this stream of consciousness going? Down memory lane–a drive I’m taking more often these days. I’ve spent 1,000 hours reflecting, reviewing, and rehearsing.  At first, I couldn’t think of a single thing to boast about… then came the cascade parade. 

There are so many 1K milestones to celebrate! I’ve walked away, I’ve returned, I’ve landed softly, I’ve burned. I am an expert in navigating ambiguity. I seem to have signed up to do it for perpetuity. I’ve written poetry 1,000x. Sung well over 1,000 soprano melodies. I’ve clapped and stomped, worshiped, grieved, graveled and grounded–just about a thousand times each.

I’ve woken up, fallen asleep. Kept it cute, just below surface level and even went into the deep. I’ve listened quietly and I’ve screamed. I’ve shifted the entire way reality seemed. I’ve questioned. I’ve clarified. I’ve confused. I’ve comforted.

Now, I need to know one thing. Where is this–1,000 tally taking me? Am I living but a day’s journey from my new nature? I guess we will have to see tomorrow.

Will the great goodness reward me for what’s already done? The 1,000x I’ve practiced being who I’ve become?

Are more changes on the horizon? More battles to be won? What’s gonna tip the scale, what’s  gonna start me back at one?

One thousand times, I’ve promised to start. Why does it feel like the journey has only begun?

1,000 times, I’ve journaled, never realizing this was my art. A direct reflection of the contents of my heart. 

Each day, I live through 1,000 choices that lead to 1,000 different destinies. Enlightenment and joy find me in immeasurable amounts. Living in the now– right now is finally making sense.

“BE HERE NOW!”

The best advice I’ve been told, worth tons more than its weight in gold.