“I trust my own evolution.”

Right now, I am at home sitting in a rare moment of pure peace and quiet. I am thankful for this moment because it is giving me a minute to just breathe and write. I thought today would be a day where I could just jettison out into the world. Today, I had to take a beat and slow all the way down. The never-ending task lists will live on and I invite them to. These days, I feel so drained. This morning, I felt particularly depleted to the point I found myself wanting to go completely invisible. That sensation is new to me, so here I am taking the pause I need. I am surrounded by fast paced, high strung frequencies. The level of undiagnosed anxieties is through the roof. I do my best to protect myself from it but I’ll admit, my defenses are particularly weakened.

Perhaps it’s all in my head, perhaps not. If it’s all in my head then this time I’m spending writing may be the solution I need. I understand now that inner calamity eventually seeps out externally. In the world we live in, everything has to be rushed, critical and urgent. There’s rarely any joy associated with our activities. Every moment rushes right into the next. 

What’s the hurry you ask? No one knows. It’s just the way this world goes. We are collectively evolving and it takes time and patience. It’s particularly hard to strive toward mental freedom when so many of us are in captivity. So today, I am writing to remember the ways of the sage.

The sage is a fluid moving force that believes in the sanctity of all things. The sage exemplifies non-interference and allows things to be whatever they are. My mission here is not to pick people apart for their flaws because we all have them. My mission is to simply co-exist and take the lessons as they come until it’s time to move on to the next. Everything we experience serves as either a memory or an inspiration. So, I welcome inspiration as it comes and try not to dwell so much on past memories. 

As I go into this day, I call on strength from my future self to boss up and rise above. I’m taking my power back, facing the sun and trusting my own evolution. Brighter days are ahead–I just have to meet them when they arrive.

-Ariel (8/28/2022)

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