Hello, Star Players! Welcome to our monthly newsletter featuring an enlightenment note from my past self. These lyrical passages are inspired by cards from the CCC Tiny Book of Affirmations. We would love to feature your journal responses to our affirmations as well! Please email your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to be featured on our site!
“I Am Now Who I’ve Always Been.”
This post is dedicated to anyone who has had to piece together their ancestry. I’ve been doing investigative journalism on my own family history since I could read. Ironically, I learned how to read at a freakishly early age. So, it’s safe to say my investigation has been on-going since the early 90’s. The links in my maternal family chain are ones that came shattered like broken glass. Ones that I’ve had to dig up and unearth like a worker in a diamond mine.
Every slow, deliberate discovery has allowed me to nestle cozier into my own skin. In the last year, I received the biggest new family revelation of my adult life. My mother’s family descended from Haitian roots. Our family historian and elder uncle has shared with us photos and handwritten letters that detail our Haitian ties.
Let me just tell you one thing right now, knowing that I’m Haitian has given me a profound sense of relief, relaxation and respite. This information has empowered my enlightenment and self acceptance in seismic proportions. This new link of discovery unlocked access doors to myself across every dimension- past, present and future. I can now look back over my life and see my own magic at work across every decade. The unconquerable spirit I possess now is one that is signature to each and every Haiti baby. We are a people who can not, will not and shall not be oppressed.
I shrug in relief now at memories of moments I once regretted. Now, knowing that it was never in my blood to be comfortable with captivity. It all makes perfect sense why today, I am on the frontlines of freedom, courage and self-acceptance for all. It is who I am and it is who I’ve always been.
In one of the family documents, our elders share a story of a young woman named, TuTu.
TuTu Lefraux came to America as a young slave girl with her master and his family. She met and married another Haitian man named Jerome DeQue. According to these same documents, Jerome changed his name for the express purpose of serving in the civil war.
To quote a line straight from our family ledger, his motivation to fight was because, “Americans looked down on Haitians, said they were a ‘bad influence’ on the former American slaves due to the revolt in Haiti led by Toussaint L’Overture.
Fast forward to right now, 2023– his rationale still tracks ever so perfectly in my mind. Most of us in this country know exactly what it’s like to be criminally underestimated each day. So many of us strive to rise above the low set baselines of expectations placed on us at birth. We rise above them each day we show up and fulfill our mission.
The kind of motivation that my ancestors expressed in these historical recounts is the exact same spirit source I pull from. I can not recall settling for “just okay” or “just getting by.” Now, I know exactly why.
This is who I’ve been for an eternity. My fiery passion, creativity, and craftiness are as necessary now for this generation as it was during the Haitian revolt and the Civil War.
If you ever find yourself in doubt about your place in this world, think of your ascended family. Know that you are all they ever dreamed of.