The Beauty That Surrounds Me Reflects The Beauty Inside Me.

Being home is such an immersive experience for me. I am immersed in admiration for how the infinite time loop works. Someone said during my visit that growing up in my neighborhood was “the best of times and the worst of times.” I tend to agree. Based on the unanimous affirmative head nods in the crowd, that sentiment held true for everybody– across generations. Grounding in my mother’s backyard and hanging out under the tree at my father’s house gives me a deep appreciation for my humble beginnings. What’s true today was true back in “the good ole days.” Community sticks together. Every person in my neighborhood who was part of the “old days” is still perfectly preserved in spirit. Even though the last few visits home have been to lay people to rest.

The hard part of visiting home under these conditions somehow morphs into the most magnificent memories. There is something sacred about coming together and reminiscing on the countless ways our neighborhood is one big family. It’s recounting the closeness, the shared heartbreak, the common bonds and the joint traumas. There is something fascinating about standing in front of 100 of someone’s closest friends and doing this that makes the experience immersive. In the ride in the family car, my uncle posed the question, “Do you think he knew how many people loved him?”

The surviving wife of my recently departed uncle chimed in with, “He knew because he showed love to all these people first.” She recounted the way my newly ancestral uncle spread love by never meeting a stranger. We all nodded in agreement and understanding that this is part of the beauty we are surrounded by. I am thankful that my now, eternal uncle was able to make it to my wedding last year. This is the reason for my amen with the rest of the church as the eulogist reminded us of “the best of times and the the worst of times.”

It was sad to see my family suffer from another loss in less than a year. However, the way my Uncle TeWayne was sent home was honorable and phenomenal. Death is not the end. Death unlocks the most liberating memories you didn’t realize you binded in the first place. The timing of these revelations are divinely ordained based on your evolutionary journey. The shared memories are what make us all family in The Bottom.

For generations, we have stood at the intersection of streets named after states and presidents to weave a world of our very own. My neighborhood houses graves and gardens. The most intense wars have been waged through these blocks. In the same way, the most iconic peace treaties and barter systems have been established. The Bottom is filled with its own ecosystem of curse makers as well as curse breakers. Imperfect by general societal standards and an oasis at the same damn time. This is where I’m from. This explains the essence of my being.

 

 

I radiate this way because I am a product of this environment. My surroundings gave me a deep understanding of the full human spectrum at a very early age. During the worst of times, The Bottom taught me to manifest peace. During the best of times, South Baton Rouge exemplified heaven on earth. Every visit home continues to transform me into a better woman and a better artist. I am thankful for the sweet reminder of how far I’ve come. 

Every visit thwarts me back in time to set the benchmark to measure how far I still have to go. I get to touch the very grounds that remember how big I used to dream. Trips home humble me in a way that allows me to lock in and focus on the mission of making it. Going home fills my cup up with the magic stuff I share proudly with the world. I pray the world recognizes that the beauty that surrounds me today–reflects the beauty inside me planted during the 90’s crack era in South Baton Rouge. I pray that one day society sees that the rags to riches representatives were cut from a cloth that society scorns. This world would not be the same if it weren’t for the beauty of the struggle in impoverished Black neighborhoods. 

-Ariel Celeste

02/13/2024

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