It Feels So Good to be Someone I’m Proud Of.

Today, I am challenged with finding my “why” for dance. When I think of dance, I think of a creative outlet that has been a constant in my life starting from my earliest memories of twerking at the YMCA as a 7 year old. I remember making up dances with my cousins in my grandmother’s living room– mimicking our favorite girl groups like Destiny’s Child. My all time favorite dance video growing up was Janet Jackson’s “I Get Lonely.” Her fierceness and creativity was something that I always sought after for myself. 

Dance came super naturally to me– I get it from my mama! She told me the story of her experience on the McKinley High School Pantherettes dancing dolls team. She laughed at the memory of stepping onto the football field as the smallest, most under-developed girl in the group. She stuck her bony little hip out in the chorus line behind all these big-hipped, busty “womanish” looking girls– relying on nothing but her raw talent to steal the spotlight. She cackled at the irony of out shining those women with every click of the beat. She mastered the art of being small, but mighty. Luckily, I was born with a little more meat on my bones so I got a bit more to shake. Despite this, both in my mother’s timeline and in mine, we are often the smallest woman in the room. I am grateful to my mom for passing those boogie down Jones bones to me. I carry the torch with honor, grace, sophistication, style and showmanship.

In elementary school, I’d watch my own generation’s version of the McKinley High Pantherettes from the neighboring fence the schools shared. On Fridays during our recess, I neglected playtime to watch the dancing dolls strut their stuff to the field. Little elementary me, stood on my tippy toes, held the fence and switched my hips to the same beat they did. I knew in my heart I would be one of them when I made it to high school. However, my grand Pantherette plans were thwarted the last semester of middle school–thanks to my big, smart brain. I happened to have the intellectual prowess to test into the city’s top ranked magnet school. So, that’s where my parents sent me– much to my protest. The “smart school” didn’t have a football team and therefore neither a dance team. Talk about a blind-siding, devastating blow to the gut. 

Anyway, I started the magnet high school with a major chip on my shoulder because I never imagined not cementing my legacy as a McKinley High Panterette. The only dance program the “smart school” offered was ballet. Out of pure desperation to dance, I enrolled. That’s when my dance journey grew legs (pun intended) and took off on its own. In this magnet school ballet program, I received formal technical training, studied pioneers across many genres, was introduced to pilates, uncovered my choreography skills and met the star performer version of myself. It was at this moment of my dance journey that I began to understand the connective tissue between the larger world of theater and the arts. My vision had been set on dancing on the football field and the “smart school” showed me I was being short-sighted. 

At Baton Rouge Magnet High School, our dance program took annual field trips to see the Nutcracker– a timeless stage play and ballet production. Watching theater in this way showed me that the arts serve a purpose that runs way deeper than words can explain. The arts are this planet’s great redeemer. I am grateful to have been welcomed into the fold of creative expression at such a young age. Despite my non-traditional entry point being the twerk circle among other magical little black girls from the hood. When we danced, we suspended reality. We paved new inroads to make the pain of our living situations irrelevant–even if it was just for the length of a Juvenile song. Dance is one of my natural gifts, inherited biologically from my ancestors. 

I have been blessed to leverage dance as a way of praising God. As I navigated the ballet program, I also served as a liturgical dancer at my church. What I once thought was just a hobby, I now realize was a way of bringing inspiration to my community that was in desperate need for hope. Little me. Who would have thought? Dance delivers a freedom from all types of mental, physical and emotional bondage. I trust dance, and dance trusts me. I am grateful to be in this body that is perfectly positioned to house an endless flow of creative expression. I struggle with abandonment issues–but dance has been my constant steady. She has been there for me and now, I have the opportunity to show up for her. Thanks to the artform, I have graced the stages of the Louisiana Governor’s mansion, talent shows, pageants, community events, marched in parades and battled in step shows across the nation. Thank you to every beautiful soul that encouraged me along this two-step slow dance we call life.

Today, I am proud to say I am at the pinnacle of my dance career. My “why” for dance is also my “why” for living. Dance is another avenue in which I can express God’s love and radiate as a beacon of healing light and peaceful abundance. This art is how I maintain my joy in a world that wants to rob me of it. I am proud of myself for joining a new studio in Houston and completing a three month training intensive. I am proud of myself for showcasing my growth as a dancer at our studio’s showcase on June 7th. This was the ultimate manifestation of blooming where I have been planted. It was a full circle moment to have my mother be in the crowd– awakening her love for dance by watching me perform. It feels so good to be someone I am proud of. 

As long as I have the breath of life in me, I will continue to exalt God’s love through dance. I will continue to make myself, my ancestors and my descendants proud by giving to the dance world. It’s been a long time coming, but I am thankful that the path has been cleared, all doubts of me as a dancer have been removed and all blockages of my dance blessings have been dissolved. To quote the guiding mantra of my Houston studio dance fam, “I am here to dance for me and the only competition I see is a reflection of me.”

 

05/24/2024

 

-Ariel

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